Wednesday, 17 August 2011


So just had my fiance James, take my "before" pictures. The camera is still turned off, as I'm too afraid to look at them. I see myself in the mirror on a daily basis, kinda hard not to when the wardrobe in your bedroom is two large floor to ceiling mirrors :( and I'm constantly picking at myself, I'm just disgusted by what I see - it's even been to the point where I'm dry reching at the sight of myself, that's how disgusted I am in what I have let myself get to .. and I know I am the only one to blame from excuse after excuse. Yet staring at myself in the mirror, isn't as confronting as the thought of me seeing myself in a photo. A photo seems to make it much more real for me. I think maybe its because photos can be shared. And whilst I don't like me ... I need to be open and honest about what/who I am and I am willing to pluck up the courage and share that with everyone else.
It is now more about "This is me, and this is what I am wanting to better/improve and I'm going to do it"... rather than "This is me, I'll do it another time"

Now to look at these pictures :( :( :(

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