While I was driving to work, to my night shift on Friday night, I found myself feeling overwhelmingly anxious. The all too familiar thoughts of "I'm going to fail," ... "I'm stuffing myself full of crap," ... "I'm too tired..." etc. etc. were running through my head. I could see myself setting myself up to fail, by having slacked off on my exercise, having slacked off on the cooking and began returning to buying takeout, though trying my best to get healthier options, it wasn't good enough. Also eating a small takeout tub of cold rock ice cream, and drinking 1L of V on Saturday and again on Sunday.
Old habits were wriggling their way back in. And something snapped inside me ... I thought "What the hell am I doing? I made a committment, so I should stick with it!" I made the decision then and there to cut the crap, cut the excuses, no more justifying excuses. I didn't have anything to gain by slacking off ... I wouldn't get to where I want to get, but I knew at that moment I can do it! And I WILL do it!! I have renewed my committment to reach my goals, and to kick it up a notch! I KNOW I can do it!!!!