Sunday, 21 August 2011

Crappity crap crap crap

Ok so this weekend turned out to be a bigger blow out than I'd hoped ... but it's my own fault, I can't exactly blame anyone else for what I put into my mouth.
Went to Sizzler for dinner on Friday night, food wise I did OKish ... dessert, yeh just think chocolate icecream, chocolate mousse, sprinkles and marshmallows :(. Then Saturday was my daughters 2nd birthday and here comes my BIGGEST excuse - "It's a celebration, it's OK", who am I trying to kid, honestly? Anyways, breakfast was good and healthy as was morning tea. Lunch was a BBQ + a slice of birthday cake. Dinner was non-existant, just had such a busy day, shopping and seeing family. Then had another slice of cake. Whilst had reasonable small slices ... it was still too much!!! I just still struggle to say no and I hate myself for it. I want to have that will power and self discipline to stick to what I need to!
I'm hoping that by returning to work tomorrow, I will have less time near food, as I will be forced to wait to eat, which did help last time I attempted to lose the weight seriously. Also returning to the gym next week. Have my Polar FT4 coming in the mail.
I am serious about this program and I am serious about losing the weight, but it's definitely going to be a major struggle. I've completed pre-season Task 3 this afternoon, writing and submitting my goals. Though I'm pretty sure I'll have some more goals to add to that list, once I can actually think (it's never easy thinking on the spot, even when you have TIME to think). Thinking for me generally pops up at the most random times. I could see/hear something and then it may lead me to think of something I would like to achieve, and this is how I believe I will add to my goals list.
I have my diary too, where I will do what Michelle says and calendarise my goals. So along with writing in my work shifts, I will see my goals that are coming up and be able to work harder to achieve those goals and hopefully maintain that motivation to do so.
I think right now I am still very much so in the mindset of making excuses, and I guess that's why these pre-season tasks are there for us, to help work through those. I now have no doubt in my mind that I will be revisiting these tasks regularly. I have some HARD HARD HARD work to do!

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